I don't talk a lot about the tragedies and challenges in my life. Why? That's a good question...some would be because its painful to discuss losing a spouse and a child; another reason would be I don't want to be looked upon "as that person"; I don't like asking for help; and because I try not to dwell on it... Discussion tonight at Missional Community was on forgiving and forgetting and somewhere in there moving forward and looking at our past was brought up...various people stated they analyze, think on it, and move forward; others look back and see all the mistakes they have made and pray they don't get stuck there; God brought me to a slightly different view...
As I have grown in my relationship with Jesus and developed family relationships with my church or spiritual family, I realized that I can look back at the past and not see the mistakes, but see just how far God has brought me in my life and just how much He was at work during those challenges and tragedies.
We are human, and with that we feel pain and that pain, especially from losing a spouse and a child, stays with us forever. However, as I look back and see all the special people and family God brought me during those times and still today, I realize that although I will always have the pain of loss...it has lessened because blessings have been given and have helped heal the hole in my heart. What was once an open bleeding horrible gash is now being healed with love and blessings through my family by God giving me who and what I need.
So a special thanks to those who are walking on this mission together with me as family. I may not always speak the words but know that everyone of you, and you know who you are, are a tremendous blessing in my life.