God is my healer...

I don't talk a lot about the tragedies and challenges in my life.  Why?  That's a good question...some would be because its painful to discuss losing a spouse and a child; another reason would be I don't want to be looked upon "as that person"; I don't like asking for help; and because I try not to dwell on it... Discussion tonight at Missional Community was on forgiving and forgetting and somewhere in there moving forward and looking at our past was brought up...various people stated they analyze, think on it, and move forward; others look back and see all the mistakes they have made and pray they don't get stuck there; God brought me to a slightly different view...

As I have grown in my relationship with Jesus and developed family relationships with my church or spiritual family, I realized that I can look back at the past and not see the mistakes, but see just how far God has brought me in my life and just how much He was at work during those challenges and tragedies.

We are human, and with that we feel pain and that pain, especially from losing a spouse and a child, stays with us forever.  However, as I look back and see all the special people and family God brought me during those times and still today, I realize that although I will always have the pain of loss...it has lessened because blessings have been given and have helped heal the hole in my heart.  What was once an open bleeding horrible gash is now being healed with love and blessings through my family by God giving me who and what I need.

So a special thanks to those who are walking on this mission together with me as family.  I may not always speak the words but know that everyone of you, and you know who you are, are a tremendous blessing in my life.

sig

I can fly

I've missed two weeks - sorry - I let my negative self take over a little with the "what do I have to say" or "no one wants to hear that"...well if you don't then don't read it!  LOL! The newest adventure in our lives is my son, 14, and I have ventured into the challenging, adventurous world of homeschooling.  Yes, I am beginning this adventure in the high school years.  And you know what, that is perfectly okay.

My son has been asking for a couple of years now to do online or full computer based schooling at home.  I've avoided it because, frankly, it scared me.  How in the world can I teach? I work full time? I'm a single mom? etc. etc.  Well, our journey has changed.  God directed our paths to a different lifestyle this last 18 months and now is a good time to start this adventure.  Do I still work? Yes I do, but I have flexibility in my hours and in the days that I work at home or in the office.  I can flex my work related schedule to mix with our family schedule and now with our homeschool schedule!  Isn't it divine to have those options?

The next item that scared me was what was required, what do I have to do exactly, where are my resources, are they free, are they textbooks, do I have to physically act like a teacher and give a lecture?????  Oh my the questions that fill your head.  Do I have all these answers yet, no.  Do I know if the path we've chosen together is going to be the best one? No.  Yet we have to have faith and trust and take that first step knowing that if I went the wrong direction God will nudge us back to where he wants us.

What did I pick? Alpha Omega Monarch - computer-based, automatic graded except for written assignments (and he's already found out that I won't let anything just slide), work at your own pace, on your own hours, yet has daily assignments (I can move and alter).  It does the basic courses: language arts, math, science, history, and bible studies.  You can add electives.  We added Computer Programming - his interest.

Today was day one of actual work (I only withdrew him middle of last week and we did a few days of Life Skills - helping mom around the house with laundry, cooking, cleaning!).  He's excitedly worked on Algebra I, World Geography, Biology, English I, and New Testament plus the programming.  Yes I understand its only the first day, but I've rarely seen my child so enthused to do school work.  And have I rarely seen him disappointed that he didn't make an A.

I have the feeling, the faith, the trust, that this is going to be a new, rich, full, fantastic, and growing journey for my son and I.  I can't wait to see where God stretches us.

And I want to thank my family and friends who I've talked with over the last week for their support in this new adventure.  I was simply awed that the reaction was totally positive and how can we help.  It warms my heart. 

And hey, my son just said "school was fun"!  And that says it all!

dana